The past two weeks have been a complete blur. Back to school has a whole new meaning for me this year, with actually HAVING a child in school. New schedules to learn and acclimate to, parent/teacher meetings, soccer signups, doctors appointments, getting kids to bed at a decent time – all of this means I get off work and then rush rush rush to get everything done so I can throw the kids into bed at a decent hour, only to wake up early the next morning and start it all over again.
My mother is laughing hysterically right now reading this, because it’s all come full circle for her. I can’t imagine that it was any easier for her – having two little girls and a husband who was on TDY or deployed a LOT while we were growing up. Looking back, she made all of this look SO EASY … and I’m gonna be honest, I’m effing exhausted. I remember coming home and her making a REAL dinner, helping us with homework, and getting us bathed and in bed, without breaking a sweat. I’m sure there are instances of craziness I’m not remembering; I’m sure every once in a while she lost it and screamed at us all – but mostly, I just remember a lot of love and a lot of patience.
I seem to have inherited my patience from my father.
Last weekend, we were in San Antonio visiting my family. The Mouse was sitting with my mom on the couch, and the Froggy walked over, trying his best to climb up with them on the gigantic leather couches. I kid you not, the Mouse tried to KICK the Froggy down off the couch because he was not willing to share his grandmother or his seat. Of course, he was immediately reprimanded. His response? ‘But I hate him.’
And a little part of me died inside. This has been the truly the first instance of true meanness I’ve seen from the Mouse towards his brother, or towards any kid for that matter. From day one, he has always been SO GOOD with his little brother. It’s always been one of things I’ve bragged about, ‘I might not have cleaned the kitchen in a week and a half, but by God, my two boys love each other’. And I know that expecting that to last forever was serious folly, there was no way they were going to make it through their whole life without being upset with and saying mean things to each other … I guess I just wasn’t prepared for this one.
The mother in me really wants to attribute this weird behavior to how tired and cranky the Mouse has been since he’s started this exhausting new schedule – it would be easy for me to say he’s tired and still adjusting. Or, he could just be four and tired of his brother toddling along after his every move. Whatever it is is, it’s been a frustrating and trialing two weeks as we figure this whole new crazy schedule out. Eventually, we’ll get it. {Oh, but did I mention we’re throwing soccer practices and games into the mix starting next week? Awwwwwesome.} All four of us will figure this insanity out, and will learn to roll with it in a patient and respectful manner.
I swear.
You’re doing great and your boys do love each other very much. For as often as my boys can be a little snarky with each other, the rest of the world is on notice to “not mess with my brother.” I love how they stand up for each other at the playgroud, and worry when my pace sometimes leaves Joey trailing behind. “MOM – WAIT FOR JOEY!!” It warms my heart.
Hate to tell you that the sibling rivalry may be just beginning. I have three girls – 10, 7, & 5. The two oldest fight like cats and dogs. They can barely be in the same room or the car together without one of them starting a tiff over something ridiculous. It drives me nuts and I worry about their sisterly bond, but, once in a while, I catch a glimpse of their love for each other and I am reminded that they will be o.k. (me, too!)
You are a phenomenal mother and I’m sure your own mom would tell some tales about you and your sister. My sister is my absolute best friend but we fought like crazy growing up. His new schedule most likely had a lot to do with it. Combined with all of the new sayings he will learn from the other kids. You are going to start hearing alot of stuff that you have never heard before. I wonder if its the age because Addy is full of new words like this too. She asked me today if I hated her after I scolded her for something. Breaks my heart but I also wonder if she grasps the full meaning of the word or is just using it because she heard someone else say it.
Oh the craziness!!! We have a lot of love hate in our house. Aiden is not much of a fan of his number #1 fan, his sister. Things are pretty crazy around here and we too are also throwing soccer into the full schedule. So we have to coordinate everything between Aiden’s soccer practice, my softball games on Sundays and the 1-2 times a month that my husband and I decide to do a 5 or 10K race. There is also going to the gym 3 times a week and making sure that everything gets done around the house, though its not as clean as it was when we had just one child and I wasn’t working either, but priorities. Some things are more important and I’ll love the pictures and memories that we will have from this crazy time.