Dear Mom –
I wanted to take this opportunity to write down a couple of apologies that are long over due. Please note that all of the following are things that I am now experiencing with your grandchildren, and I’m well aware you’re laughing you ass off about this from your tidy, clutter-free home in San Antonio. Karma is a bitch. I get it.
I’m sorry for all of those months of screaming relentlessly at you while teething. I would not have blamed you for dipping a washcloth in whiskey and allowing me to pass out with it. Nope. Not one bit.
I’m sorry for any furniture/wallpaper/carpet/clothing I destroyed with permanent markers. I hear there was an incident in Greece with some paint at a neighbors house? Yeah. My bad.
I’m sorry for getting sick on the night you and dad had plans … finding a babysitter and affording said babysitter is HARD. I know this had to have happened at least once. Sorry.
I’m sorry I sucked the ever-living life out of your bank account{s}.
I’m sorry about that one time I bit my baby sister. FOLLOW UP – I’m sorry I threw a huge fit and lied about it. I’m sure it was obvious to you that it was not, in fact, the babysitter that did it.
I’m sorry about that time you thought it would be fun to take me out school clothes shopping and I acted like a complete brat and whined about getting everything I laid eyes on. The ‘gimmies’ suck.
And last but not least:
If you were writing an open letter to your mom, what would you apologize for? And keep it from when you were a REAL kid, apologies from the teenage years are a COMPLETELY different blog post!
For being a PITA and making her cry when it came to eating, or eating enough. Because at times, I feel that way about my son at times. Of course, he’s only 19 months. And I made her cry over it well into elementary school. Please God, let him start eating more by that age!!
I have a feeling I should probalby be apologizing for a few similar things. So in doing I’m passing this blog post on to my mom. Thanks!
Love this. I called my mom from the hospital after my first son was born (2 days of labor, followed by c-section). I cried and apologized for 20 minutes straight for all my transgressions as a child. Mom’s response? “Get some rest, dear.”