First off, just in case you were wondering, I DID contract the awful-no-good-very-bad stomach virus that the kids and husband had on Sunday. I’m pretty sure after puking my guts out all day Tuesday, that I now weigh 5 lbs less. Swim suit season, here I come! {kidding}
The Mouse eats a lot. I mean, a LOT. He pretty much wants to graze through our cupboards and fridge constantly throughout the day. The husband keeps telling me how he needs to get him on a good eating schedule again. Breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner. Fin. Right now, the Mouse’s eating habits are as follows:
7am wake up
705 milk
715 cereal
800 banana
1000 string cheese
1200 lunch
130 fruit
215 veggie sticks
400 more fruit
515 yogurt
600 NOTHING
635 applesauce
745 popcorn
800 milk
Notice, that the only time the kid is NOT eating is at 600pm when the rest of the family is eating dinner. The past couple of nights, he’s taken 2 bites of dinner, and then 30 minutes later he’s complaining that he’s hungry. Last night in particular {when I was curled up in a ball in our room, trying to recover from the days stomach virus} husband made some yummy looking grilled chicken quesidillas. I mean, who doesn’t like quesidillas?? It’s cheese and chicken in a yummy tortilla. The Mouse wouldn’t touch it. The husband made a big production about how there would be nothing else to eat that night if he didn’t eat his dinner … but the Mouse said okay and husband threw it away.
Guess who pitched a FIT when Mommy came in, warmed up a small bowl of plain white rice {BRAT diet, right here} and he couldn’t have any?
‘Mooooooooooooommy, I staaaaaaaaaaaarving!’ ‘Mommy, I don’t want to go to bed with my tummy talking to me!’ ‘*sniff sniff sniff*’ ‘Mommy, please can I have just one bite of your rice?’
And I mean seriously, I don’t want to be the crazy Mommy Dearest mom who slaps the extra rare steak down in front of her kid for breakfast when they refused to eat it at dinner. But dude, mommy and daddy are NOT short order cooks. You eat when we eat, and what we eat. It’s not like we tried to feed you escargot for dinner. It’s a freaking quesadilla. Eat it. It’s yummy. I promise.
Oooooo he was mad at us. He threw a huge fit, but eventually calmed down. And eventually the husband calmed down and warmed him up some chicken to have so he wouldn’t ‘starve’ that night. But the next night was fixed baked tilapia … the kid ate all his potatoes and corn, and was going to leave the fish. That is until we had another conversation about going to bed hungry, with no snacks before bedtime.
Little man ate all his tilapia. Again, I go back to, ‘am I being too strict?’ or ‘am I being too easy?’ I’m assuming that other parents have these same issues. My kid can’t be the only almost-four-year-old who thinks that his eating habits are the way everyone in the family should eat at all times, right? How do you encourage your toddler/pre-schooler to eat on a schedule and not snack all day?
My daughter was born 3 days after the Mouse. I feel your pain. She does the SAME thing to us. And we are equally tired of it. I try to cut her snacks from like 3ish on, but we also have a two year old, who eats good, but also wants a snack. It is hard to give him one and not her. We have also tried the “you are getting nothing else to eat tonight.” Ha ha, that did not go over well for us either. We have also saved the dinner she didn’t eat and told her that she gets nothing else until she finishes the dinner she has. Good times.
I hear ya. I have five year old twins!
I have an almost three year old like that. It is hard because I think the kid was born a vegetarian. I can’t get him to eat meat at all, never have. He used to live vegetables but now he only likes a handful. He eats all the time though! It’s fairly healthy except for the 100 cal snack pack of “mommy snacks” he gets once a day but if I being honest all he really wants is pb&j and yogurt. I feel you! You are not alone!
As long as they eat their meals we let them snack. However we don’t make them clean the plate. Since I only cook one meal for the whole family I know not everyone is going to like everything. So I make sure there are at least a few things everyone likes. Like my daughter pretty much hates all of my casseroles, so I make sure she has a veggie and roll or something else that she likes to eat. Mine also get a bedtime snack, if they eat enough of their dinner. The doctor told me to give them the snacks as long as they are eating their meals. When they were younger it was harder to fight them on the no snack if they didn’t eat their meals but now that they are older it has gotten easier, we just remind them at meal time no snack if you don’t eat and then say 5 or 3 or however many more bites until they can be excused from the table, and allowed to have a snack later.
I’m not a mommy, but your “short order cook” comment reminded me so much of my Dad! His phrase of choice was “This is not a cafeteria. Eat what I cook, or you’re gonna be hungry later.” And sometimes when I REALLY pushed his limits he would add, “You’re welcome to have some of the dog’s food if you don’t like what I’m cooking.” That usually ended up making me laugh, so it didn’t really have the effect he was going for I think
Anyway, my brother and I turned out fine…don’t worry 
Our 3.5 year old is going through the same phase right now. We just save his plate, and if he’s hungry later then he has to eat that first before any other snacks. We’re also not above bribery, so if we dangle a piece of fruit in front of him, he usually eats dinner quickly!
We’re going through the same thing with Butter, and on a larger scale, Little Bear. I’ve finally broken my in laws of giving them snacks all day, and I’m lucky that the only thing Butter really wants to snack on is veggies and fruit, but Bear? Doesn’t seem to want ANYTHING we want to give him for … well, anything.
I don’t think you’re being too strict at all. I think you’re doing what a good, normal parent would do. It’s what we’re doing. A lot of it is patience or finding creative ways to get them to eat what you want them to eat. For example, LB thinks he doesn’t like meat, but he’ll eat it if we hide it in bread. Butter swears up and down he hates carrots [this week, anyway] but he’ll eat them if they’re in a casserole.
Good luck!
Here’s what I do:
7:30/8am – breakfast. He generally gets to pick what he wants out of cereal, frozen waffle, oatmeal, yogurt, etc. I sometimes let his food sit out if he didn’t finish and it won’t get really gross. I will not let him get out games, watch tv, do a craft, etc. until his food is gone. He generally has a grain, fruit, and milk.
10 am – snack. Usually a fruit/veggie, grain, and milk/water
12 pm – lunch. A grain, fruit, veggie, protein, and milk. Same rule as breakfast. No fun until food’s gone, or he’s at least put in an effort.
3 pm – snack. his one cup of diluted juice plus usually crackers
5:30/6 pm – dinner. If he doesn’t finish, no dessert (which is usually an oreo, a piece of candy from christmas/easter) and he goes straight upstairs.
I found that having set snack times really helped him understand that he wouldn’t be allowed to graze allllll day. He still tries, but I just tell him that it’s not snack time yet.
We have added more protein to madden’s main meals and this has helped a lot. When we do give snacks they are also protein fille for the most part. We try not to do a bunch of crackers and stuff like that (regularly). He gets what we eat for dinner. If he says he isn’t hungry the plate is saved until he goes to bed. If he is saying he is hungry we warm back up his plate. He knows now this is what he gets and nothing different. If he eats a good dinner and later says he is hungry then he can have a snack.
I think you’re doing 100% the right thing. I grew up with a “picky eater” brother and a mother who WAS a short-order chef and I vowed to NEVER do that with my kids. Braden eats what we eat, and same thing – it’s not like we try to serve liver and eggplant to the kid! I admire you and your hubs for having him finish his meals and eat what was made for him. As Braden gets older, and especially if it’s a food that I know he likes, he WILL be eating it, the plate will be saved and he can eat it as a “snack” before bed if he’s hungry. I’m a “strict” minded kind of parent like that and I see nothing wrong with it! Go mama go!
We have discovered that many (it not all) of the horrendous meltdowns Monkey has are from lack of food. So it’s actually beneficial in our house for me to let him graze. Otherwise the absolute instant he hits “hey, I think I’m a little hungry” we get total melt downs over every.little.thing.
So there’s always something available to him BUT if he doesn’t eat dinner it’s saved for him and he needs to eat that before he can have anything else before bedtime. So I guess I’m not much help. 
A lot of the things he wants to snack on he can get hImself though (cheese sticks from the fridge for instance) so that helps me not feel like a short order cook. “You want a cheese stick? Ok. Go get one.” 
Oh man I feel your pain. Carina never wants to eat anything, ever
I’m actually impressed that he asked for some rice. ha. My almost 4 year old will go to bed without eating dinner(if she doesn’t like it or think she doesn’t without even trying it), and never say she is hungry.
I used to make a fe things for the kids to eat for dinner just to get them to eat something because I too worried about them getting enough and starving, but now that Aiden is older he can eat what we eat. He too is a grazer and will snack all day long. We have to lock the pantry to keep him out of it. We’ve told him that he eats what I make or he can have a bowl of cereal and that if he doens’t eat then that is it. There are no snacks if doesn’t eat dinner. He may throw a tantrum, but he does eat in the end. He’ll eat the next day.
I never had these problems with any of my kids. Maybe because I was ‘strict’ from the beginning. When they were babies I would give them their milk bottle whenever they wanted to, but then I made a routine for them and I sticked with it. If they ate ten bites of dinner I was more than happy and didn’t try to convince them to eat more. However, I always give them a treat later after dinner, something safe for the night, like a couple of simple biscuits. I think you do a great job, you are not too strict. It’s good for them to have a routine. He is adorable, by the way.